Riding The Wave

Welcome everybody to Riding the Wave podcast with Monique, Mo to the Mo. MJ in the house yall better RECOGNIZE! Coach you got eight, are you dedicated? What it do, what it do? And today, Mo, what are we going to be talking about? But before we begin, we got to do what we do. Do the cheering, they got to say cheers.

Cheers! Cheers to you all out there, our fans, family, friends, loved ones. Cheers to you. And our haters, everybody out there.

Say hi to anybody. You got to love the haters, you got to love the haters. Alright, so how's everybody's current? How's everybody's current feeling? How you guys feeling? It's really nice.

My parents are wavy. It's cool, it's nice and smooth. It's like the water is just glass.

My current, my current, I'm a little, a little choppy. A little choppy, a little choppy. My son right now, he's on vacation, so he's going to be spending two weeks with mom.

So I'm not going to see him for like two weeks. So that's good. Is that the longest you've been away from him? No, the longest.

I mean, that's a different topic for a different day. But she took him away from me and it was like a month. So yeah, that was a hard one.

But my brother is a very consistent father. So he has his son majority of the time. And for him not to see his son for weeks at a time, that's a lot for him.

That's a choppy. Yeah, you're like, that's what I'm talking about. They just want to get rid of their kids.

I'm good. I like my kids. I like hanging out with them.

I like hanging out with my kids too. But sometime. But any shout outs? Shout outs right now? To the people.

I love you guys. Stay positive. I'm staying positive.

I'm in a good mindset right now. I hope everybody else is as well. If you're not, don't give up.

Yeah, and I'm going to be a copycat. Thank you to everybody that has supported this channel. We hit already over 100 subscribers.

Thank you. And that's for you guys. And that's definitely for you guys.

I know this milestone, it may not be significant. It's just 100 subscribers. But to us, it's like we were so grateful in the beginning to have one.

And the fact that we got 100. Yes. It's a real blessing.

We just want to say thank you guys. Thank you guys for taking the time to listen to us. To leaving your comments or positive messages or positive energy.

And we just want to say thank you. We're very grateful for you guys. And again, if there's ever any topics or any of you guys want to come on this platform and to express yourselves.

This platform, I know I'm going to sound like a broken record. But this platform, I think we need to get a red carpet. Just show them.

You guys are all welcome one way or another. You guys are welcome. Share what you want.

Good, bad, positive, not. It doesn't matter what we talk about. And we want you to know that this is a safe space.

Over here, there is no judgment on whatever it is that you guys want to discuss. So I just want to just reiterate that one more time. Thank you guys for everything.

So the shout out is for you guys. Yes, the support. We appreciate it.

For the people. Yes. And we know you know a lot of people.

We know you got friends and families that could be tuning in. So make sure you let them know. And if there's something that maybe your family members might want to talk about, shoot them our way.

It doesn't necessarily have to be on camera. Even if you don't want to come on the podcast, just give a topic or discussion that you may be battling, facing, going through, witnessing. And you want to see if we may have gone through it or we know somebody that has gone through it so that they can come out here and like give you some type of guidance and stuff like that.

We're not meant to walk this world alone. And that's so important for all of us to understand that we should all have someone to go to, whether it's a loved one or a stranger. And sometimes it's so good to open up to somebody that you don't know because there's no judgment there.

And at the end of the day, you guys really don't know us. We don't know you. And we're trying to get to know you guys as well as you get to know us.

So, you know, it's a give and take relationship. And if it's one sided, you know, it can only go one way. We want to be here for you guys in every way, shape and form.

We don't have all the answers. This is why my brother does his research. It's not his fault.

He can't read family and friends. I mean, you guys didn't leave any comments. Me and Hendra are just going to have to pop up out the pad.

We'll have an interview right there. All right. So today's today's topic, because I know this is a very passionate topic for you.

So, Mo, the floor is yours. What's today's topic? Today's topic is about dating intentional. I don't see that anymore.

I don't see that at all. And it's just a very unfortunate because I'm about to be 40. And, you know, I've always dated with intention.

I've always dated with whoever I live. I want that to be my forever. Unfortunately, it doesn't plan out the way that I want it to, because I'm not going to put everything on somebody else.

You know, I have flaws. Maybe they're flawed. We're not talking about our flaws.

So, yeah, it's about dating intentionally. And right now I'm just so intentional with myself and the people that I'm allowing into my life that honestly, it's been feeling like I'm walking around with the sword and it's just like off with your head, off with your head, off with your head, neck, neck, neck, neck, neck. And it's kind of sad because no one's making the cut.

Yeah, man. I mean, dating, me and my sister have been single for quite some time, been single for about three years. How long have you been single? I don't even know.

She lost count. She's seen that calendar? I hope you're doing it away. I'll walk you by the house and I just had a big old calendar just smacking my face.

And then I asked her G3 and she denied it. But, yeah, dating with intentions. I know, A, for you, you're just like, oh, here we go.

But, I mean, hey, I have a question. When you first met your wife, right? Were you dating her with intentions? Because how old were you when you first met your wife? I don't remember. May I just be honest? No, hold on.

I'll do the math for you. Hold on. You've been with her for 18 years.

You're 43 years old. All my business. You're 25 years old.

You're 25 years old. So you were a young pup. I was young, yeah.

You're a young pup. Actually, when we first started talking, I told her that I wanted to be friends. Like, I think it was like... With benefits or just friends? No, I just... I mean, be real.

We did our thing, you know? But I did tell her that I just wanted to be friends. I didn't say, oh, let's just be friends with benefits. I told her I wanted a relationship.

I wanted to be friends because I just... I got out of a relationship and it was a while. I mean, it wasn't nothing serious. It was a good girl, but it just didn't work out.

And I wanted to explore my options. I wanted to just not be... Tied down. Tied down.

I wanted to explore, but then I really realized, like, once I told her, oh, I just want to be friends, and we kept it as friends. And then I really felt like, damn, I miss her. I miss her personality.

I miss her loudness. I miss... I started missing it, and I was like, okay, well, what's going on here, bro? Like, what's going on here? So I started falling for it, you know? But my intentions were just to, you know, explore my options. And how about you, Mo? Like, where are you at, mentally, dating? What is... We talked earlier.

There was a particular story I kind of wanted you to talk about. But what has the dating scene like been like for you? You needed help, people. We needed help.

So I've only gone out on one date, and honestly, it was a great connection. A great connection prior to meeting him, a great connection in meeting him, and then a connection after. But the doozy was, again, I asked questions.

My question was, what does your Instagram following look like? How many girls do you follow? Do you follow half-naked women? Okay, why did you ask this question? Why was that such a significant question to ask? So that stands out to me because, one, I'm following by faith. I go to church. I don't walk this perfect life.

But I want a man who is going to respect me, a man who is not... who doesn't have his eyes everywhere but on me. So, like, if you're finding entertainment everywhere else, then why do you need me? Where do I come in? So if I just... You're in person, and this is your fantasy, I'm not here to play into your fantasy world. I want to be somebody's wife.

I want to be somebody's forever. So if your eyes are still gazing here, there, and everywhere, then you're easily entertained in these places. So, therefore, I don't know if I can trust you.

And I want somebody who has respect for women. So if you're looking at all these half-naked women, that's where your eyes are. That's where your mentality is.

That's what you're envisioning. I don't want that in my relationship. So I feel like everybody is able to say what they want.

Like, maybe you're not okay with your girl being friends with her ex-boyfriend. That's okay. It's not a problem.

You know, it's a problem if I'm telling you what I don't want in this relationship and you're doing it regardless of what I'm telling you, you're not my person, and you don't value me or respect me, and therefore, I need to make the decision to walk out the door. You know, it's so funny that you mentioned the half-naked women part, and I'm going to be 100%. Don't go to MJ's Instagram.

Don't go there. That's what I did notice. Because I never had Instagram until I started podcasts.

All I had was Facebook. So when I went on Instagram, the algorithm, it was nothing but half-naked women on it immediately. And I wanted to change the algorithm of it because, honestly, I'm not a fantasy seeker.

When I see these women, I know I can't have them. So why am I going to look at window shopping? I'm not a big fan of window shopping because if I can't afford it, what's the point of teasing myself? And that's where discipline comes in. I think as men, we have failed.

And I'm not going to seriously say I'm the most disciplined person. There's certain aspects where I'm more disciplined at, and there's certain aspects I'm not so disciplined at. But I would say, as far as being all hung over, these women that I'm never going to be able to interact with or have any sort of relationship with, it's more of a fantasy, why do I need to see that? Why would I need to entertain that? And this is my thing.

Listen to what a man or woman speaks, okay? So if you're on this date nap and you're saying, I want a wife, I want to come home to somebody, I'm tired of being alone, I want this, I want that, and the minute I share with you that this is something I don't like and you're going to call me petty, you want someone to come home to. You don't want a forever person. You want to have your cake and eat it too, and I'm not the one for you.

You're not going to like, I don't need you to take care of me financially, I don't need you to wine and dine me, I don't need your money, I don't need nothing from you, but for you to have nothing but respect for me. That's what I want. So, Angel, I have a question with you.

Like, when you first met your wife, what qualities did she have? Her booty. Okay. I'm going to ask that.

I'm going to ask that. Okay, but like, him saying that, like, and you're being truthful. And realistically like... But see, he's saying that captured him, that's what we turned in, that's what caught his attention, but he also said, you know, in the last episode, that he started, or this one, I'm not sure, where he said, I started to miss her.

What did you miss about her? Her personality, her like, how she was coming off, her loudness, just her sense of humor. It was just something that I was not used to. Like, I was a very quiet, I am a very quiet person, I'm always reserved, I kept to myself, that was a person that observed them more, than really interacting.

You know, so I'm an observer, and then I'll, if I feel like I can open up to this person, then I will, you know? But no, she just kind of, yeah, the better half got me to doing things, where I wasn't used to, got me out of my comfort zone, sometimes she's fucking loud, and she's not even being loud, she's just talking loud, I'm just like, whoa, you know what I mean? But it's cool, like I like it. MJ, you're loud as fuck. I'm like, you sound like, And that's what he's saying about opposites, do what you want.

Yes, yes. But, she wasn't just fixated on that one thing, just because she had a big ass. You know, she's also complimenting all these other things about her.

So, yes, appearance is key. I totally agree with that. But on another spectrum, what does their heart look like? Yes.

Are they, are they genuine people? Are they good people? Are they humble people? What's their vision like? What are they chasing after? Is it just money? Is it just that paper? Like, money's not everything, so therefore, like, I don't want to be with somebody who just wants money. Yeah, money's great, but it's like, what else do you bring to the table besides money? Yeah, and that's one thing that I notice a lot on some of these other podcasts. Like, I watch a Prussian bit.

Shout out to them. Yeah, shout out to them. They're doing amazing.

And the whatever podcast where they have these women come on, a lot of them are like the only fans. They're very bougie women. And they talk about money.

But what's funny is right here, I'm talking about God, right? Or, like, what they don't understand is, I have to call him Yahshua, by his rule, I'm Jesus, and I'm Yahshua. Yes, sure. He, from the Christian standpoint, he was a carpenter.

He was married, had kids. He was not a wealthy man. Right? And how, in that story, who would he, who was he betrayed by? And why was he betrayed by Greek money? So the city here and contradict yourself and say, Hey, I want money, money, money, but yet I'm a religious person.

No, you're not. Because he wasn't a wealthy man. It wasn't about that.

So that's where, like, when I, when I watched, when I watched these episodes of that, like, they're just a bunch of hypocrites. And we were not meant just to be about money. It's, it's unfortunate that society has created this stigma that as men, that we need to create all of this red, all this finances in order to be what a woman.

I, I truly believe being in a partnership, it's, it's a two-way street. You bring, bring strains, you bring weaknesses, but then you have strength and you have, and they, you know, you balance each other out. and I have a commendable for keeping her like, she knows what she wants.

She's going to, her expectations are high as they should be. She knows what she wants. And yeah, you know, because with my wife, it's amazing.

And it's beautiful. When I walk into the room, like, I don't see anybody else but her, you know, I can only imagine like the feeling that I give her and the feeling that you, you want, you know what I mean? For your partner to just look at you and just be like, ah, you know, and like, whether it takes fucking four or five years, who gives a shit? Like, get what you deserve, you know, like wait for what you deserve. And I come to the point where it's like, even if I don't, I'm not a negative person.

So I don't want to sit here and say never. But if that's not my reality and that's not the path God has set out for me, I'm so confident now in being by myself and being alone that I, like, I don't need it from anybody, right? We all desire it from somebody. We want it.

I don't need it. I don't need you to come and buy me. I don't need you to, I want somebody to add, you know, be my plus one and pour into me the same way I pour into them.

But I will say that this was not me five years ago. This was not me 10 years ago. This is a new version of who Monique is and what she has learned from her past.

And now I'm, I'm coming full throttle lessons. And that's the biggest thing in dating or just living life. If you haven't learned anything, you're not living life.

If you're staying stagnant, you're never going to evolve and grow. You need to be able to be self aware of who you were, who you want to be, where you're going, have a destination. And sometimes you need to take yourself there.

And that's why if I need to ride this way by myself, I'm going to ride this way by myself. But I'm going to pour into other people so that we don't, we don't settle. Let's not settle no more.

This is 2024. You know, we are here to just like keep going, be better people. The world is already.

We don't reach more ugliness in the world when it comes to your mental health, being in a relationship that is depleting you and taking from you. Instead of pouring into you. It's time to go to the next level, instead of doing the same shit over and over and over.

Okay. So I guess my, my question to you guys now is can I get a little bit of research? How many people, fun facts, how many people do you think are single in the United States? Like if you guys, what percentage? So there is what, like 380 million people here in the US. It's not, it's only 4%.

So how many do you think are single in the United States? All right. That's like a four, 15, 16%. Mo.

I'm going to say COVID 24%. Okay. All right.

Let me speak to some facts. All right. So this is from Forbes magazine.

So it says, according to the US Census Bureau, nearly 47% of the US population, just over 117 million people are currently single. That is a big number. How do they get those results? So why? So apparently so 2023 data from Pew Research Center finds that three in 10 Americans are single and about half 51% are open to either a committed relationship or casual dates.

Over half of men, 56% are looking for either a committed relation or casual dating and less than half of women, 44% say the same thing. So what do you, what do you guys think about that? Now it makes sense when like you're filling out paperwork and it's like single. Yeah.

They're using that. That's what it's for guys. That's exactly what it's for.

They really don't care about you. It's for sure. It's for this.

Yeah. That to me, that was very, that's a big number. That's a big number.

47%. That's almost half. So half of the population is single.

Is single. Cause you got to figure maybe like another hundred, like whatever percentage is babies. I'm going to, I'm going to say that it's probably even more than that because of the simple fact that so many people are married, but still feel like they're alone or still feel like they're single because they're doing things alone and by themselves.

Right. All right. Okay.

I got a question for both of you guys. So do you think some of these women and men are single because of maybe the amount of kids that they have? Like this, like if you, if you meet some a man, is there a limit to how many kids he can have and not have? That's a good question because I never, I never thought about that. there's for the most part, most of the people that I've met and talked to with kids, it's always about one or two.

It's never an excessive amount because I'm older. If their kids are older, like I don't, I'm not sure if I would be okay with dating somebody who had young kids, like maybe two or three, just because my kids are 24 about to be 24 and 18 that like, I don't, as much as I love kids, I don't know if I'd be able to start all over again with somebody else. I feel that.

Yeah. Yeah. I would say my limit honestly would be two kids.

You and I had this conversation. And he said one kid. He just said one kid and now it's two.

No, I'm just kidding. I was just playing. I'm just kidding.

I remember that. No, but and because, and this is very important for a lot of these women out there that have multiple kids, have a lot of kids or whatever. And when you're out there dating you to sit there and say like, cause I see like when I used to be in the online, I don't do online dating no more.

I'm done with that. Um, but I would see that they would say, Hey, I have three or four kids, whatever it is. Well, I don't, I don't need you to be a father to my kids.

They have grown dad and so forth. Okay. That's such an ignorant comment.

Number one, like when, if you meet someone and you follow up with that person, you're going to want them to follow not only with you, but follow up with your kids. Like if you're, if you're planning not to ever bring them around to your kids, then you're not looking for someone serious. And unfortunately that's what men and women need in consideration when you're whistling, when you're pumping out all these kids.

Yeah. You're, you're, uh, uh, the, the chance that you find it, it does decrease. It does decrease.

Especially if they're babies. So to piggyback on what you said, when I met my husband, that was my mentality because I was this, I miss independent Beyonce. You know, I don't need nobody.

I can hold my own blah, blah, blah. But the one that suffered was my son. My son suffered because of the way that I thought.

And that's why I say I come so far in my life that like my brother said, it's ignorant. Yeah. That was a stupid way for me to look at it because I didn't just make this man my man.

He was also the father of my son, our son, and then I married him and now he's playing stepped out to my son. But really wasn't playing step down to myself. So it was pretending it was a stupid way to go into something.

And I can reflect now, take ownership that I should have never seen it that way. But I also didn't have anybody telling me any different, or you shouldn't see it like that. And that's why what my brother just said is, if women are out there listening, men and women, you should go in there and you would, you want this person to be a role model, a figure to your child.

Why do you want to date somebody that's working at a strip club or out there and only fans? What is this woman going to teach your child? And that's, and you know, I want to piggyback off of a Moa saying since you piggyback off of a James Davis. We just do the piggyback. You guys will get that reference later.

But no, that's the truth because me growing up, my father raised kids. We all have different dads, like three of my, two of my brothers and my older sister have a different father. And then it's, my mom got to work, but, um, me, myself, my dad and then my sister and my brother have, um, their dad, you know, but I was always raised.

Like, it doesn't matter. Like that's your family, you know? And when I met my wife, she had, um, I had my son and she had her son and you know, what I told her is like, if we're going to be together, then I'm going to treat your son like family. Like it's, it's you and everything else that comes with you or else it's nothing at all.

Cause the first second somebody tells me, don't talk to my son like that. You're not his father. All right, cool.

I'm out. I'm gone because I'm not trying to replace, you know, a child's father, but I'm going to be there and support them and teach them, teach them the right and wrongs and do the best that I can be, be the best role model that I can be. So for a woman to tell me, no, you're not his father.

You don't need to tell him nothing while then. All right. Well, this isn't going to work because we're not going to have a conversation.

I'm not going to see if they're thinking, okay, if I tell her son something, is she going to say something they're doing? I just let him do whatever he wants to do. And so she fixes it not happening. Yeah.

And I think that's what it takes a real man. Okay. You can be a father, right? You can be a sperm donor.

You don't have to be biologically anything to anybody. You know, it's like, you can meet somebody and why is it? Okay. Why is it so easy for you to be like, oh, this is my brother.

These are my brothers. I grew up with these guys. They're my brothers, but you won't sit here and call your girl's son.

Your son. I think we need to start thinking outside the box and not like so tunnel vision. Think about it in a broader spectrum.

Like if you can call this person, oh, this is my, my cousin, my this, my that, but you sit here and you lay up in bed with me. You say you're my man. You say you love me, but you're not seeing my son as your son.

That's a problem. No, for sure. And then, I mean, it's also cause it was hard for me at one point.

Like there was a point that I didn't see my biological son, my son for a year, but I was still with my wife's son, Nathan, and I was there a hundred percent. So I was being a father to, you know, him, you know, I'm being a role model. And then like for a while, like, I mean, they hit me different.

I was like, dang, like, I can't even see my own son. And I'm being a father to another child. You know, at first I was kind of like confused.

I was like, what's going on here? You know, like I was hurt, you know, cause I didn't see my own son. But it was also like, it's not the kids. It's just both.

It's not, it's not. But they didn't be, they didn't say, hey, I want to be put in this position. You got to like, man, step the fuck up and just take care of that responsibility because any of these, yeah, any of these kids need a role model.

Like, like, this is our future. And it comes down to both men and women. And if you're not capable of doing it, just say that.

Just say that this is more intentional dating, intentional being with somebody intentional is so important. Don't do it out of a selfish act for your own wants and benefits. If there's kids, think about the kids, think about how you would have wanted to be, how you would have wanted to be treated if you were a kid, you know, put yourself in somebody else's shoes and stop being so damn selfish.

Yeah. And then like, honestly, when you guys are out there dating and this is for men and women, be fucking honest with them. Like, when you're going on a date, like, don't talk of people's fucking emotion because a lot of men and women and I can confess, I have done that.

I've done that. I've done that. We've all done it.

We've all done it. I was in my twenties where I would go out with these girls that had and I had no intentions of ever really being with them. And then they started catching fillings and I'm like, oh, like I owe your ghost them.

And but in doing that fucking karma has always found its way to kick me in my fucking ass. So it's like we do need to be mindful of people's emotions. If you're going out and you're dating someone and you're very, and you're not sincere and you don't have good intentions, then you need to let that person go and stop.

We have to stop being so, men and women have to be stopped being so selfish because, oh, well, they're there for me when I have, I don't have nothing to do. They pay, they pay for this or they pay for that. It's like, no, man.

Like, and like I said, karma, karma, it comes back. When you're, when you're out there having negative intent, not even negative intention, but malicious intentions towards people or it's like, you, you know, cause I think most of us know. I would sit here and say like, I, I, I read this somewhere.

I could be wrong that when men date or when men meet like a gender, like a good woman, they know within the first 10 minutes that, that this is the person they want to be with not saying that it's the person I want to marry or whatever, but this is the person I want to be with compared to like a woman. I think for a woman, it takes them about a month or so to really determine this is the guy I want to be with just because they need to make sure, hey, they're not to say they're, they're, they're checking on the boxes, but there's, cause actions does speak louder than words. Cause a lot of us, we sit here as men, we see all these things to these girls.

Oh man, I want to do this and this and this. And then when it's time for it to, when it's time for you to actually show, you don't show. Yeah.

And then you leave them disappointed at that door, like damn. And then that's when the trauma comes in. That's where insecurity comes in, you know, now cause you, these women have been hurt for so much and men have been hurt.

So like, they're like, they're like, you're wrong. You ruin, you ruin good people. Yeah.

You bring good people. You ruin good people for the next person. I could have gave him or her that opportunity and everything that they were desiring and wanted, you know what I mean? But didn't have, didn't do it because fear of all, I don't want to be taken advantage of again.

I don't want like, oh, she's paying with my heart. Like she's just paying with my feelings. She's going to dip out.

She didn't cheat on me. You know what I mean? It's like that Russ song losing control. I'm losing control now.

Like bro, like it's saying that Russ. Okay. Let him sing it.

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, but, but overall when you guys are all dating, let's, let's be adults.

Let's be mature. Hey, if that, if you go on a date with that chick or that dude and he's just not wasn't your type, I know it's hard. I know it's not.

I think it comes down to the point that I look, like if you're just trying to smash, you say you're trying to smash, be straight up with it. Like if you, if you have the balls to fucking tug on a woman's heart or vice versa, you know, woman to man, like have the balls to say, like, Hey, you know what? I don't want to have a relationship. I just want to smash cool.

Then that's what it's going to be. But to go into something to where that you have no intention of being with this person and you tell them all the things that they want to hear to make them feel good, to make them feel warm, to make them feel safe around you. And then you just go and fuck them over.

Like that's the worst thing you could do to a person. Yeah. It wasn't too, honestly, bro.

It wasn't until I had my son to where I was being genuine towards, towards women, like where I would tell him the actual truth, like, Hey, you know what? Like I like you. You're cool. But this is not what I'm looking for for right now.

If you want to stick around, that's great. If you don't, I completely understand. So I'm going to share what I have on my profile.

It's let's not waste each other's time. Be yourself and be intentional. And it's just so funny that this is a topic that my brother wanted to talk about.

She has a rhyme. Because I read her profile. She's like, oh shit.

Damn, she sounds interesting. My sister. I have involved.

If you are looking for a hookup cuddle, buddy, or you just want to have sexual conversations, I'm not your person. So please don't like, or see if we can be friends looking for a respectful man. And this is something that I feel I get a lot of comments where a lot of guys are like, I like what you said.

And this is where, where I guess I sell them on. I say at the end of the day, you owe me nothing, but you owe everything to yourself to be a standup person with morals, values, and living integrity. I mean, I don't know how much more I need to put out there where it's like, I'm not here to fuck around.

She's not looking for a boy. I'm not looking just to be some arm candy. I'm not looking to be your plus one at the quinceañera or the wedding that you're trying to go to.

I'm not trying to be that person. And if, if you're coming at me with some bullshit, I'm able, but my radar's up and I'm done. Walk.

Next. And so far, I mean, I really haven't met anybody who's intentional. My brother's like, you need to meet somebody organic.

I'm like, I don't fucking know what that means anymore. I don't go out anywhere besides work market church. And funny story about me going to the market.

On this app, this guy's like, oh, you look familiar. And I was like, I do. I don't go out anywhere.

I go to what I just said. He's like, I think I've seen you at the market. I'm like, oh, okay.

Comes to find out. He's like, he's like a neighbor, but not my neighbor. And he lives across the way.

He ends up telling me, so what are you going to come over and cuddle? And I'm like, you don't even know me. I don't even know you. Why would I go cuddle with you? You know what would be funny? You guys go to the same market.

You know what would be funny? You know what would be fucking funny? You didn't shower for three days. I cuddle with him. Okay, so interesting fact about the online dating stuff.

So I'm going to shoot you some facts. That nearly 70% of individuals who met someone on a dating app said that it led to a romantic relationship. 70%.

Exclusive relationship. Well, 28%, I guess you're the 28% said it did not. Okay.

Individuals between 43, you're getting their mom. And 58 said that they found success with online dating. Fuck.

I got to wait for you. Was 72% stating that meeting on a dating app led to a romantic relationship. Males were more likely to have met someone on a dating app and have led to exclusive relationship.

75% compared to 66% of females. So, I mean, the online dating, I guess, does work. But I believe when you're a little older, it's more, I guess, it's more genuine because of that.

I mean, when you're in your 20s, even in your 30s, you know, you're just for certain men and women, you know, and then we have to consider people are settling, people are getting married at a later age in their life. People are sitting down later on in their life compared to maybe in the 60s and 70s, you know, people were sitting down at such an early age. And then I'm kind of curious to ask this.

Do you think the fact that we live in the city compared to maybe if we live on the outskirts, the suburban, if we live in the country, if we live in certain areas, right? If we live more like away from a big population, that is less distractions. Because I feel like if you live in the city, men and women, there's so much going on and there's just so much distractions. Yeah.

I know it varies from person to person, but I'm just saying, like, I'm curious if they've ever done a study dating in the country compared to in the city. Maybe I should move to the country and then we'll come back and we'll reevaluate that question. Right.

She's a kind of a pitchfork. Some chickens. Sounds sufficient.

Sounds sufficient. No, I just think that, like, man, if you're in an area like that, I mean, there might not be much to do, but at least when you go somewhere, you actually talk to somebody and really get eye to eye contact and, you know, you'll be able to read their body language and everything that they have to say makes, again, make some eye contact because, I mean, I've never been on a dating website. I've been with my wife 18 years and I'm just trying to grasp, like, Danny's dating website.

I'm trying to put myself in a situation, like, if we didn't work out, how would my approach be to meet somebody else? And I'm already like, holy shit, I don't want to have to go through, like, the likes and dislikes and this is what I do and how, like, I move and how do you move and, like, fuck, it's a lot of work. Yeah, I mean, and I don't think... It really is. I don't know if I'll be able to do it on a dating website or I'd want to, like, go to, like, somewhere where I'm comfortable, you know, being at, whether it's, like, a small hole-in-the-wall bar to meet somebody that is just chill and willing to have a conversation versus at a fucking club, dancing that I know is, like, I hardly doubt we're going to fucking end up being married.

You know, it happens, but I don't think I'm going to... Yeah, I don't think I'm going to meet somebody fucking dancing at a club. Yeah, doing the fucking robot. The worm.

Bro, time has passed. They don't do that no more now. But in all honesty, like, what we're just trying to get at is when you are dating someone and your, like, dating intentions, get to know them.

The best thing for you to do, honestly, is to know their bats. Like, know the... Again, like, everybody likes to talk about all their good qualities and stuff like that. I want to know your bat side when I get to know you.

I want to know, like, what happened... Yeah, you're not even saying that? Like, I want to know, like, what happened in your past? Did you suffer from any trauma? Like, I would ask the person, do you suffer from trauma? What kind of trauma? What have you been through? Because I hear the term a lot when it comes to people where, especially women, I'm working on myself. And I ask, well, what are you working on? Are you, you know, are you changing your diet? Are you reading psychology books? Okay, so... Are you... I'm sorry. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

You know, are you speaking to a therapist? Because sometimes, like, in life we can't do things on our own. We do need to help. We do need some guidance.

Because sometimes talking to our friends or family, it's biased. They tell us what we want to hear, not what we need to hear. So it's hard for you to grow that way.

So, again, like, when we're dating, it's like, really get to know that person. Get to know their flaws. Right, but I... So, on a date for you, when is too much information too much? Is it on the first date? I mean, these are all very valid questions and wanting to get to know a person.

But, I mean, do you open up like that on the first date? The second date? Like, when do those questions come up when you're trying to date? When are they dating soon? You know, if I'm not... Honestly, if I'm not on a date, we're having a good time, I'll just... I'll throw in these questions. It's not something I'm... I'm not going to go straight into, like... No, but if we're, like, just to say, you know what I would think, you know we're having a good time? You know, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, I'm a big girl.

Yeah, we're going on a date. But, like, you know, I would ask you, hey, you know... And he comes like this. Stop, stop.

What's your number one? Two times. Okay. Studies have shown.

Not far, for real. At least. But, like, you know, obviously, you should have made, man, like, so what's been, you know... Tell me something about yourself.

Like, tell me, tell me, what are your good qualities and what are your bad qualities? What is something that you feel like you need to work on? Well, that's funny that you say that because I asked somebody what his strengths were and if he had one weakness and he said, what is this? A job interview? Yeah. And I basically told him, like, I'm just trying to get to know you. He's like, well, then get to know me.

And I said, well, your strengths are a part of you and so is his weakness. Like, again, it's not a job interview because I'm not hiring you for a position. But we are trying to talk, get to know each other, possibly date.

So I do want to know, what are your strong suits? What's your weakness? Okay, mine is... Like I told my brother, I was freaking hot today. I'm irritable. So I wanted to go home and shower.

Somebody should know that about me. When she's in the heat, like, don't talk to her, maybe. Like, don't have her do any extra stuff because it's too damn hot outside.

That's a weakness of mine. You should know that. You know, my strong suits.

I like to do X, Y, and Z. You should know that about me. There shouldn't be a defense spectrum on, like, is this a job interview? I mean, well, it kind of is an interview because I want to know, are you going to... Are you my match? Are you not my match? Yeah, I feel like on a date, you're almost like an open book. You're willing to share whatever.

Or do you have like... So you know how we were talking about, like, on the first date, do you go in with the kiss at the end of the night? I feel like you get to... I go based on vibes, like, what I feel off somebody. So there has been times, like, you can make me feel so comfortable that I can open up about everything and anything, you know? If you ask, I'm going to tell you. Right.

And if I feel like there's something voluntarily that I need to share, I'm going to tell you. Because, again, I want to... I want you to make the decision, do you want to be with me? It's not about just me. Do I want to be with you? It's also, I have... I have this shit.

Can you handle this shit? Yeah. Yeah. And if you can't, that's okay, too.

Like, it's not the end of the world. Yeah. Yeah.

And honestly, bro, I think in first dates, be an open book. I just ask everything, because what's the worst that's going to happen is, they're not going to hit you up on a second date. Fuck it, whatever.

At least I express everything that I felt. And people who can't be open about little things like that, they are not going to be open the remaining of your relationship. Because if that already was like, oh, you know, I'm mad.

Like, is this an interview? Shit. I never want to ask you another question again because you're on the defense side. I understand that response.

What if they gave you a different response to make you feel like maybe they're a little sheltered or scared of being hurt? Hey, then say that. Yeah. Say, you know what? I haven't really thought about that.

You just gave me something just... earlier with you, which I said about, have you taken your daughter out? You're like, ooh, food for thought, right? Mm-hmm. You could have simply said, I haven't thought about, I've never been asked that. That's a challenge question.

Let me think about it and get back to you. If you never get back to me, that means that you don't care about the question that I asked. So now I need to make the decision.

Do I want to continue speaking to you? No? Then carry on with your life. Yeah, definitely I would say, like, when you are dating men and women, you need to... When you are going to date, be ready to date. Be ready to date.

24 hours. But if you're still not over your ex, then don't go on this. That's not... Because look, I'm not going to even say that, oh, I have done that to where, you know, I was brokenhearted and then I want to go on a dating app because I don't want to latch on to anything that... So I wouldn't feel the pain.

And that was wrong. And we have to acknowledge it. If you're generally just finding going on a dating app or trying to meet someone because you want to get over someone or you want to hurt that person or because you're in pain and you just don't want to feel that pain, well, you're being... Now you're just being fucking selfish, in my opinion.

You know, like, you need to... Not get over it. Heal yourself. Heal yourself.

Do whatever work that you need to do. So when that person that you do meet, those are genuine feelings. They're not doing it to be... They're not trying to replace anybody.

You're not trying to like... Cut hair. Because it's not going to work. And if you suffer from trauma, again, you have to let that person know, hey, I suffer with trauma.

This is something that I went through. So people know, oh, okay. There are certain things that may trigger you.

When you go on a date, bro, I don't know if me talking about a certain thing is going to trigger you. And definitely on a personal level too. Evaluate yourself.

Do you feel that you're broken? Do you feel that you're hurt? Do you feel that you need to be fixed and there's things that you need to go... If you acknowledge that and you start making the repairs and you fix it, I guarantee you're going to be off in a better place and not maybe go through something that's going to just put a band-aid over the pain that's really there. Yeah. Instead of work through it and go through the process, it's not fucking easy.

Yeah. I mean, it's not easy for anybody. And you're heartbroken.

Like, fuck. You're going through some shit. Yeah.

I mean, I feel like this is a conversation where you got to just go on for a long length of time. But let's go into our final comments. Mo, ladies first.

So my final for both men and women, don't put yourself on date now or don't put yourself in the dating scene if you're not intentionally ready to date. Meaning whether it be boyfriend and girlfriend or seeking like a marriage or a forever relationship, don't do it because it comes back to being selfish. They're wasting each other's time.

And at the end of the day, one or the other is going to catch more feelings than the other. And then it's like, they're like, well, I told you, but it's like, but you also let it on. So don't leave people on.

Be intentional. Be true. Treat people how you want to be treated.

And just know that at the end of the day, mental health is serious. And I hate when people fuck with people's feelings. Don't fuck with mine.

I'm not going to fuck with yours because then you have to unfuck yourself, you know? And that is the worst part is like undoing what you allowed somebody to do to you. But another thing is I'm going to say, listen to what people are saying and how they move. Okay.

Don't, don't be naive. If they're saying this is how they live their life, but they're doing X, Y, and Z, it's not aligning and matching. It's a red flag.

Look at the red flags. You know, don't just go for the green ones. Look for the red ones and make your decision.

And it's okay if they're not your person. Be single. It's better to be single, alone, and have your peace than be with somebody that you're constantly questioning or doubting.

Because it just messes with you. MJ? I would just say be genuine. Be genuine when you're dating.

Be honest with yourself, number one. And then be honest with the person that you are dating. Don't waste people's time.

Be authentic. And be ready. If you're not ready, then you're not.

And it's okay. I know a lot of us focus on, we get on the social media and we see these relationships and we want to emulate them, but it's not you. And you don't know what they go through.

In the social media world, people only post the positive side about them. It's very rare when they're posting the negative side. So be genuine.

Don't compare. And date when you're ready, when you know you're healed from whatever is going on, and be honest with that individual and yourself. And good things happen.

We all have that special someone that's out there for us. They're there. They're just waiting for us to meet them.

For me, it's an acknowledgement. Evaluate yourself. Maybe you're having daddy issues, mommy issues.

Maybe you lost your partner. Who knows whatever you're going through, but evaluate yourself and see what areas are you hurting. Repair yourself.

Fix yourself before you put yourself out there so that it doesn't hold you back from meeting the right person. Because if you're not healed, and what if you do go on a day and you meet a great guy or a great woman, and they're amazing, but you don't allow yourself to give them you. That's a missed opportunity because you're not fully healed, because you're not ready to date.

So just make sure that you're actually 100% ready today and willing to give that person your all, because if you do, then they'll probably do the same thing. After that, that's where you fall in love, and that's where the sky's the limit, and you just take each other's breath away, and it's amazing. Love is amazing.

It's great. It's beautiful, and it's something I really, really pray that everybody gets to experience. Yes, most of us all deserve love.

Some of us don't. Some of us are not good people, and we deserve it. Don't be real.

My brother's B100. But any more? Anything else you guys like to add? So we wrap this up. I feel good, brother.

I know you probably got another hour. But yeah, we want to know your guys' experience as far as dating. Do you date or possible positive intentions? Or for pleasure? Be real.

No judgment on this platform. Do you? So we just want to know what do you guys think as far as what we talked about. Do you guys agree? Do you guys disagree? We want your input.

We want your feedback. Your feedback is very helpful. And again, this platform is not only for us, it's for you guys.

So if any of you want to come and share your story, we're here to just listen. So we just want to say thank you guys for tuning in. We'll see you guys every Friday at 8 a.m. 8 a.m. sharp.

We love you. You guys have a productive week. You guys are beautiful, amazing.

And let's stay dedicated. Are you dedicated? All right, to your family, to your craft, to your job, to your workout. To dating.

Are you dedicated? So let's go. Let's go. We love you guys.

We'll see you guys the next one. Have a great week. Have a great week.

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